Heinz Orchard

Heinz Orchard at Green Oaks is the most refreshingly blunt farm on this entire site. Its own description of its facilities reads, in full: "no bathrooms, no hayrides, no petting zoos, no pumpkins, etc."

What You Can Pick

Apples, from around mid-September.

What It Costs

• Half peck bag, holding about six pounds - $10
• Peck bag, holding about twelve pounds - $20

There is no admission fee. You buy the bag and you fill it.

Good to Know

One picking stick per group, please.

On payment the orchard is equally direct: it prefers cash but takes Visa, Mastercard, Discover, Amex and Apple, Google or Samsung pay, and it does not accept "crypto, I.O.U.'s, checks, or handshake promises".

Pro tip: this is the anti-agritainment orchard. If you want a corn maze and a petting zoo, Royal Oak and Kuipers are both within half an hour. If you want to pick twelve pounds of apples for twenty dollars and go home, this is the only farm around Chicago that has organised itself entirely around that.